Reverend Jim's House of Pain & Redemption

2010 North American Union or just a 'security and prosperity partnership'?!

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 16:19:00 +0000

Below are three reports by CNN's Lou Dobbs on the behind-the-scenes work being done to create a North American Union, reminiscent of the E.U., by 2010. I don't know how they're going to pull this off given the disparity of wages with Mexican labour, but, whatever this nascent union grows into should be interesting and worth watching more closely.

The American government maintains (www.spp.gov) that this is just a 'Security and Prosperity Partnership' designed to 'to increase security and to enhance prosperity among the three countries through greater cooperation'.

Here's an interesting timeline (at another site, which opposes the union) of related events covering much of the 20th century leading to the SPP/NAU. TIMELINE

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Sorry, I don't know how to embed the video.

1. CNN Lou Dobbs via youtube.com

2. Here's another Lou Dobbs report, via Google Video.

3. Yet another one, via youtube.com

There are several other related clips listed on both sites (youtube / google vieo) after you finish watching. It's disappointing that there isn't much else in the main stream media about this important event at the moment. A google search will get you started on your way, just remember to stay on the yellow brick road...

We're not in Kansas anymore.

Posted by Toto
(the mut, not the band)

Wacky?

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 17:27:00 +0000

Personal jurisdiction?! Jesus, mary jane, and Joseph!

Click here.

Is this like the time I had that wicked dream I had become a lick-spewing, chick-adorned, 13 1/2 inch-avatared, guitar-gods-of-the-70's rock star only to discover (as I woke up in someone else's vomit, blood, and diarrhea) that I had given Satan general power of attorney?!

How sad and unfortunate for prosecution and defendant, respectively.

Let this be a valuable lesson learned for the poor fellow in question (if he survives the prison sodomy), stick to safer recreations like cigarettes and that lovely methanol-spirited national relic Soju. At least the government gets a cut.

Posted by Tommy Chong

Fever'd Buttocks

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Sun, 05 Nov 2006 14:02:00 +0000

I may have committed heresy.

Have a look here for some background.

Yes, I was one of those lazy, negligent, careless slobs that listed the Big Hominid's blog, Hairy Chasms, as 'The Big Hominid'. In my defense, in listing it as 'The Big Hominid' I was referring to the man rather than the machine. But to avoid diddling with excuses, I have come to a more appropriate solution. After pondering on this dilemma for quite some time I heard a ding (possibly from the toaster oven) as I was struck with a flash of inspiration.

Henceforth, Hairy Chasms shall be listed on this site as fever'd buttocks, which is a reference to one of my favorite and most inspiring poems that would put Homer, Basho, Shakespeare, and Tu Fu to shame.

Posted by Stan the Almighty

Thankfully, I avoided the other problem of listing 'The Big Hominid" under 'T' by dispensing with alphabetic ordering altogether. I don't like being labeled.

Boo!

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 15:12:00 +0000

HaPpY HaLlOwEeN kIdS!!!

All my love.

Posted by Beelzebub, the Tempter.

p.s. Care for a high fat, sugar-ladened funnel cake? No?!?! Oh well then, I'll settle for your soul. Mmmmmwwwwaaahahahahahahaha.

I'll have your souls soon enough you petty superstitious idol-worshipping leeches!

Mmmmwwwwaaahahahahahaha hahahahahaha ahahahahaaaaaaaaaa.

It's all about the Rocket Sauce, man.

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 03:24:00 +0000

As part of a promotion for his upcoming Tenacious D movie, Jack Black produced an anti-piracy bit. After watching it I gave up alcohol, cigarettes, piracy, and started going to Church every day. It's convincing.

It's all about the rocket sauce, man.

Click on the line below:

The power of Christ compels you.

Posted by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

40

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 06:02:00 +0000

Oh my god! My brother is 40 today. Where does the time go?!
Doesn't it just feel like time is accelerating out of control? Hahahahaa.

Happy birthday stud!

I love ya old man.

Posted by A much younger dude. Much...Younger.

Birth Pics

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 13:07:00 +0000

With the arrival of my little bundle of joy last week (see previous post), yes I named him 'Baby Boy MacBook', I thought it appropriate to post some pictures of the first few critical moments as my boy emerged bright and shiny into the world.

Still in his momma's belly.

Emerging head first through the birth canal. Still unrecognizable as he is covered in birth goo. Look closely and you'll see the ambilical cord and remote control.

A proud daddy grinning from ear to ear with my beautiful new baby boy.

Posted by Father & Son

Hello Mac!

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 12:06:00 +0000

Gasp! The unthinkable has happened.

I have crossed over into the world of the Mac user. I'd been considering buying a new laptop for several months. Last week my old notebook decided to help me in the decision making process. As the screen flickered and dimmed with gaining regularity I started thinking more seriously about what to do next.

Well, with the help of a friend of mine, and admitted long time Mac user, I came home Saturday night from Yongsan electronics market here in Seoul with a new MacBook, white. My friend reassured me, "...once you go Mac you don't go back." I gave a nervous laugh as I looked down at the briefcase-like box dangling from my hand. It isn't easy making a big purchase. Although many swear by the quality, design, and functionality of Macs, it is still an unknown quantity as far as I'm concerned, a lifetime PC addict.

The first couple of days were touch and go. It's a lovely beast, but I've had to relearn everything. It feels like the first time I ever touched a computer many years ago. Frustrating. But like an innocent baby looking up at you after knocking over a vase, unable to fathom your anger, you simply smile, explain his transgression, and move on, comforted by the disarming nature of innocence.

It is a lovely creature. And for Won 1,190,000 not bad (the store price was the same as the online price at the .co.kr site.

That's all for now. Nursing a cold and I need some rest. I think I caught a virus from my old notebook. The stress has been overwhelming.

Posted by Anonymous

The Buddha Strikes Back

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 04:10:00 +0000

Click and beware.

Stories like this just get my goat...and roast his yarbles over an open fire. I don't recall ever being ripped off by a retailer to this degree but I have certainly heard many stories from friends and acquaintances.

And you don't have to go far to set off your spidey sense a tingling here either. Anytime you're at Yongsan electronics market be vigilant, do your research, and then be vigilant again. Otherwise it's death by a thousand cuts.

Lightsaber and a Scanners-like mind grip are my weapons of choice.

Posted by Stan the Almighty

Have you seen the Vista?

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 03:00:00 +0000

With Windows Vista* on the horizon about to pounce on unsuspecting computers, we're all going to need a thorough introduction into what it can do, what it will cost to run it(money and minimum resources), and how it will make your life more pleasant by helping you learn to like yourself a little more.

Some development history couldn't hurt either.

Click here.

Posted by Bill Gats

Kill a turkey today?

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 15:58:00 +0000

Happy Thanksgiving to all you crazy Canadians out there!

Aw, what the hell, same to all you sane ones too!

Canadian Thanksgiving isn't all that different from the American version. We, too, engage in turkecide and dance around bonfires while devouring the still bleeding flesh of our sacrifice. Our bloodlust just prevents us from waiting that extra month and a half so we celebrate on the second Monday of October.

Phew! Made it by 2 minutes. It's a shame, really, how often I forget birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and the like while I am here in South Korea. If it's any consolation, I haven't missed a single Kim Jong-Il birthday in the last 4 years.

February 16.

Back to Thanksgiving. Turkeys are not easily found here so we improvise. We prepare a scrumptious banquet full of traditional and contemporary Korean delicacies, invite a number of homeless and less fortunate, and eat the food in front of them.

Happy Thanksgiving Mr. Kim!

Posted by Jacques Vertefeuilles.

It's been a full day.

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 15:00:00 +0000

North Korea apparently tested a nuclear device, underground, this morning.

The UN security council nominated South Korean Foreign Minister Ban Ki-Moon as the eighth (and next) secretary general. Kofi Annan's term ends December 31.

I pooped a lot and then I watched The National* streaming on the internet. There was a really interesting bit about whales.

(Archive photo of rockets taken April 3, 2006 from my bathroom.)

It's been a full day.

Nighty night.

*(Canadian TV news program produced by the government owned CBC, Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, and aired weekday late evenings)

Posted by Brian Mackenzie

Who is Chuck Norris?

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Mon, 02 Oct 2006 14:36:00 +0000

Some say that he was the product of a desperate attempt to create an American Bruce Lee. The result was half porn star and half non-threatening white Bruce Lee, and a whole lot of cheesy movies. But watch The Octagon when you're 10 years old and it might change your life; perhaps, if you're lucky, you will be set on a path such as the one that I took and you too may become stealthy assassin that lurks in the shadows, Ninja (the next best thing to Chuck Norris).

So who is Chuck Norris? Forget the crappy movies.

Top 100 Facts for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

If you try to introduce your mother to Chuck Norris, she'll introduce you to your biological father.

Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.

Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.

Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.

At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris' sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.

Chuck Norris has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains.

If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.

If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.

Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.

When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!".

Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off.

Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant.

Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.

Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck Norris so he can scare the shit out of them.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.

When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.

Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.

Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".

Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.

When Chuck Norris laughs too hard while drinking milk, he accidentally shits a cow.

One time in an airport a guy accidentally called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politely signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

Chuck Norris has never had an alcohol problem. However, alcohol has had a Chuck Norris problem.

Jesus owns and wears a bracelet that reads, "WWCND?"

In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Chuck Norris.

Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Chuck Norris open you would find another Chuck Norris inside, only smaller and angrier.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.

Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs.

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

The phrase "Made by Chuck Norris" is imprinted beneath the surface of China.

Microsoft has released a new Anti-virus removal tool called Chuck Norris. The tool dares the virus to enter the machine.

Chuck Norris always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing poker.

When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.

Chuck Norris only uses one chopstick.

Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

Chuck Norris once had a near death experience. Needless to say, Death now refuses to come near him.

People say the truth hurts, but it hurts a hell of a lot more when it comes from Chuck Norris.

If you come home to find Chuck Norris doing your wife, it's probably best to go fetch a glass of water and stand there in case Chuck gets thirsty. There ain't no future in any other course of action.

Chuck Norris can open beer cans with his teeth. He still prefers to use other people's teeth, though.

Chuck Norris uses all seven letters in Scrabble... Every turn.

Posted by

36 Up

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Sun, 03 Sep 2006 12:56:00 +0000

Someone once said, 'Time is like a predator that stalks us all our lives'. By the time you reach your mid-thirties, most folk are well aware of how deeply the fangs of this particular hound sink.

Today, circumstances beyond my control dictated that my woman's conjugal visit be limited to half an hour.

With Beethoven's 9th symphony unleashing it's choral finale throughout the ether around us, and whip in hand, I managed to keep the beast at bay enough for me and my lady to partake of some power monkey lovin', with time to spare for some gentle hair stroking and cuddling...for I am a civilized man, damn it!

36 and still going.

Posted by Stan the Almighty.

p.s. This might be a temporary post.

Day 1

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Sat, 02 Sep 2006 04:49:00 +0000

I survived the first night in my new apartment. Every time I move, it takes a couple of days to get acclimatized to my new surroundings, new home, new building, new facilities, and new habits. Actually my new place is quite comfortable and spacious, approaching 80 pyeong (albeit from quite a distance). I think it's bigger than the old place. K's modesty had me believing it would be only slightly larger than a go-she-wahn (a glorified walk-in closet).

The first night often reminds me of the classic Flintstones episode wherein Fred inherits a hill-top haunted mansion from a recently deceased kooky rich uncle. Fred must survive the night in order to seal the deal.

The first night was rather uneventful for me, except for the spectre in the mirror but that has been following me around for decades so I can't really blame my new apartment for that. I have noticed how incredibly quiet it is here at night. My last place had my large single-pained window facing a rather tumultuous street for regular animated exchanges with the passing motorcycles and yelling pedestrians. The silence here was quite deafening the first night, it actually hurt my hears as the void rushed into my eagerly awaiting ear canal.

The security guards explained the garbage/recycling situation to me, it was an unintentional tag team effort. Since there are 2 guards here (from what I've seen), some bits of information or advice tend to get repeated to me. But that's quite alright. I've noticed what one leaves out, the other fills in. Hmmmm, perhaps they have a psychic link; or perhaps they are in fact the same person cleverly disguised as 2 different people for my amusement.

I have just returned from starting my first laundry load. I expected the machines to be in the basement, so I sauntered downstairs with my big 'E-Mart' bag of laundry but decided to confirm the location with the #2 guard, let's call him Data. The #1 guard shall hence forth be called Riker. Data kindly informed me that the machines were on the 5th floor. After doing a quick look around for a non-existent elevator, I trudged back up, past my second floor pad, on to the 5th. A ironing room, nice. A laundry room, 2 large washing machines (with agitators, Allah be praised!) and 1 industrial dryer (you could dry a lot of lettuce in that giant crisper). To maximize my usage of the two washers, I put my load into the Korean machine and read the labels on the English machine for directions. As we speak, the Korean washer is frothing in a bilingual fury of cunning lingua. I suspect my clothes shall be limp, wet, and ready to rest on my rack in less than an hour, no timer so I will have to estimate.

After the laundry, I shall step out and explore the neighborhood and perhaps dazzle the peeps with my sparkling command of Korean. Then I plan to return home to rest and let my glowing red face recover from yet another embarrassing episode of "Let's Speak Korean".

Posted by Fred.

Going Down?!!!

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 03:17:00 +0000

What would Steve Martin* be like if he were a gay muppet? Watch this short video; you're elevator riding experience will never be the same.

Posted by Yortuk Festrunk

*The great Steve Martin, actor/comedian, played a very memorable character in the 70's on Saturday Night Live in a little skit called Two Wild and Crazy Guys, about two Czech brothers. Enough said.

The Joy of Civilization

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Sat, 26 Aug 2006 14:49:00 +0000

My friend, K, has kindly and generously offered to intercede on my behalf to help solve my impending habitation problem, see previous post. I was slightly reluctant to mention this because I didn't want to wreck his humility, but ultimately there's nothing wrong with appreciating kindness. Yes, I am very greatful.

He took a risk by arranging a home for me, in the process tacitly vouching for my character and putting his own reputation on the line should I experience regressional episodes. My doctor has assured me that there shouldn't be any problems provided that I stick to my regimen of medication and hypnosis.

I was regretting the very real possibility of having to live in a go-she-wahn or hasuk, I did so several years ago and I have quite exercised that particular wilderness spirit out of my system. My other connections bottomed out, so K's arrival was a timely godsend; oh, by the way, thanks to you too Boss...about bloody time (I've been dropping extra 10 won coins in the basket for months).

The next two months resting, roaming, and generally living off the fat of last year is greatly anticipated. Not to fear, I don't plan to blow my wad on irresponsible boozing and whoring. That was money well earned.

I am a relatively modest person and usually live accordingly. I plan on taking photos of the city, teaching myself how to read again, perhaps finally start writing, and sitting in cafes alone, observing people, or sipping tea with friends and generally feeling civilized. What better place to seek peace and quiet and calm retreat than a gently pastured hamlet of 10 to 20 million people (depending on the time of day) like Seoul.

So for the next little while there shall be no speaking of split shifts, 5am wake ups, and students that don't study but insist on throwing money at the company for the privilege of sitting in front of a native English speaker for a mystical experience.

Posted by Bruce the Not-So-Fucked.

Go-she-wahn blues...

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 14:49:00 +0000

This is a first for me, I think.

Personal aches and pains don't usually make it to the headlines unaltered to the point of being unrecognizably surreal, but, being bored, tired, and slightly discouraged at the Grim Reaper's middle finger, I have decided to vent; well, at least a meaningful hiss if not outright vesuvian fit.

Hmmm...Where to begin...Where to begin. Oh very well then, let's begin at a near facsimile of the beginning.

Not three months ago, sensing the last few hiccups of my illustrious career as English teacher extraordinare at American Englishy Station (located in South Korea), fondly known as The Big AES...pseudonym for the occasionally benign hypertrophy prancing as the insidiously polished veneer of an over-priced EFL institution whose divinely inspired program was actually a cheap rip-off of yet another EFL institution by none other than my current top boss himself (who used to work at the other place earlier in his career), churning up my gullet, I decided to be proactive.

Mindful of the coming ride into the sunset, as it were, and the month and a half notice required by the company for anyone wishing to renew a contract, ask for unpaid vacation, and what have you (forty-five days seems to be some kind of magic number over at The Station), an idea hatched in my naughty little noggin, one that I presented in all it's glory to my manager; who, incidentally, is a lovely person and possibly the only ray of sunshine in the 'managment' of this abomination station. I weighed all my forthcoming plans, time frames, and whims, and came to the conclusion that a one month extension might be appropriate. The manager welcomed the suggestion (I am a bit of a legend, so the opportunity to secure rights to another month of yours truly would not could not should not be passed up). After confirming with all the relevant and irrelevant higher-ups, the suggestion was approved. I was looking forward to another month, such as it was, at the big AES. So where does that take us now? Well, to the end of September, Horacio!

A little over a week ago, the manger comes back to me to relay the unfortunate message that I may only extend if I work at another branch of the company (this was not her idea, and knowing full well of my desire to work only at this branch she relayed this on to deaf ears). I'm sure this sounds innocent and harmless enough to some, but, having settled and become attached somewhat, and well aware of similar episodes, fiascos, and fubar experienced by others in similar nomadic scenarios, I decided to take a stand. Thanks, but no thanks said I. The manager was not surprised, non-plus, and quite understanding. To make a long story a little less long, the end of September has now become the end of August.

What to do?! I have decided to stay another one or two months, just as a harmless tourist, administrative and legal details notwithstanding. One of the really sad parts is that I have to vacate my apartment by late next week. My modest little 7-8 pyeong hovel is deliteful in all the amusing little ways that tickle my fancy. And, after having wandered about north of the river with a couple Korean co-workers for help in hunting 'snipe'(thank you so much for the effort Chico and Gin), I have come to the discouraging conclusion that, given my time frame, a go-she-wahn or hasook might be my only feasible options. For the more inexperienced, these two options are relatively cheap but tiny (an entire room smaller than a queen size bed) and involve sharing toilets, showers, paper thin walls, fungus, odors, stains, annoying and often unidentifiable noises that wake you up at 3 am, etc. etc. They are a sort of relatively cheap dorm of sorts. Yes, I have lived in them before, and no, I don't want to live in them again. Necessity can be a deaf bitch sometimes though. So today, I found a brand spanking new one, even seemingly clean after a few quick suspicious glances thrown about. I put $50 deposit down to hold the room since I am not ready to move in until the weekend, and technically they haven't put the finishing touches on all the construction, yes it's very new.

There may be one potential saviour. My good buddy lives in a one-room in a building managed by an odd little ajuma (middle-aged woman) who lets him stay in an 8 pyeong bachelor pad for decent rent and last month's rent as deposit and no year-long commitment. With any luck she'll have a spare to offer me. My spidey sense isn't tingling any more than usual so I don't really expect anything but hope is a powerful antidote to reality. More on this as it develops.

That's about it. Not really sure what the point was, and I'm not really sure what I have written and I'm too tired for a spell or semantic check. I just wanted to get it out before I deflated for sleep in my sweet queen size BED. Perhaps if I am still tense after washing up and reading another instalment of Charlotte's Web, I will gaze lovingly through my massive windows at the warm and picturesque landscape just beyond, blanketed under the soft cover of the gently star speckled night as I am soothed to sleep by the quiet woosh of the sillowetted cars glowing past.

Posted by Bruce the Fucked.

p.s. Pyeong is a unit measuring area. Oddly enough, it seems to vary somewhat depending on which landlord you talk to. Officially, 1 pyeong = 3.3 square metres. Expect it to be much smaller when you actually see the room.

Weather Update 1

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 06:36:00 +0000

Not one to put too much faith in chaotic weather 'forecasts', I stepped out into the streets of Seoul today, near the centre of the city, and took some meteorological readings, just doing my civic duty.

Here it is folks, in Metric of course.

The weather today is....

Hot.
Humid.
Sunny.

90% chance of the same tomorrow. Dress accordingly.

And here's a photograph taken with my new Canon PowerShot S3 IS

Posted by Pete's Meteorological Service.

World Cup 2006

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 13:13:00 +0000

Congratulations to Italy on the recent World Cup win!

Sadly, Expatriate Hal was disappointed at the performance of the Korean National Team. Having spent 4 odd years roaming around south Korea meeting locals and experiencing life first hand (ahem!) in the land of the not-so-morning calm, Hal has developed an emotional attachment to his adopted country (one of many - more on this later) that can best be described as a disfuntional relationship.

And so from the mouth of Hal himself, 'Thanks for 2002, too bad about 2006, here's to the future!'

(Expatriate Hal rooting for 2010)

Posted by Stan the Almighty

Pottermania Works It's Magic

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Sat, 08 Jul 2006 07:30:00 +0000

Got this picture from a friend of mine. Unfortunately, he can't remember where or when he got it, but it's a classic. The magic of merchandising just warms me to the cockles of my heart.

I wonder if it came with extra batteries.

Posted by Stan the Almighty

Countdown: The Order of the Pheonix

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 06:15:00 +0000

Scroll down to the bottom of the page, my lovely muggles, to see the countdown ticker to the coming blockbuster Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix movie next summer, July 13.

Posted by Stan the Almighty

JUNE 28

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Tue, 20 Jun 2006 03:49:00 +0000

T h e R e s u r r e c t i o n

Posted by Jimmy Olsen

Short and (bitter)Sweet

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Thu, 08 Jun 2006 15:26:00 +0000

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2006/06/08/D8I422UG0.html

Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi Killed in Air Raid
Jun 08 9:08 AM US/Eastern

By PATRICK QUINN
Associated Press Writer

BAGHDAD, Iraq

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the most-wanted terrorist in Iraq with a $25 million bounty on his head, was killed when U.S. warplanes dropped 500-pound bombs on his isolated safehouse northeast of Baghdad, coalition officials said Thursday. His death was a long-sought victory in the war in Iraq.
...
_________________________________________________________

A co-worker of mine gave a rather succinct and dispassionate retort upon seeing a similar report on CNN on the delightfully large flat widescreen TV in our office reception.

'Shame...waste of $25 million.'

Damn shame.

I guess I can relax my constant state of heightened vigilance a bit and change the coloured Post-it note on my fridge to orange.

It's just as well. I never really believed the rumours that Al-Z was seen late at night coming out of 'Starbutts' in Itaewon anyway.

Posted by Stan the Almighty

Happy Danniversary

noreply@blogger.com (blogger) — Tue, 06 Jun 2006 10:57:00 +0000

Today is the 62nd anniversary of the Allied invasion of Normandy, also known as D-day, marking a major turning point in the progress of the second world war for the Allies.

Happy D-anniversary!

Anyway, here's a recently declassified photo of the Council of Trent (at Trent, New Jersey) showing the planning for D-day only days before implementation.

Strange how these kinds of anniversaries invariably make me think of Dr. Strangelove, the movie.

No, there's no hidden jab there. Perhaps I tend to lump together most WWII era black and white documentaries and dramas. I was watching "It's a Wonderful Life", the 1946 Frank Capra classic starring the late great Jimmy Stewart (If your thinking of NYPD Blue, that's Jimmy Smits) the other day and I also started thinking about Dr. Strangelove. I guess there was enough of a connection to trigger my spidey sense.

Here's another photo taken from the Council of Trent, of President Roosevelt on the phone with General Eisenhower(not shown).

Sadly, although Mr. Roosevelt was instrumental in the planning process he did not survive to see the end of WW II. In an ironic twist of fate, 1945 marked the end of WW II as well as the presidency of Roosevelt as he passed away in April of that year, with Harry S. Truman taking the reigns as the next American president.

Here's a photo of fireworks during a celebration in Japan marking the end of WW II in September.

Posted by Stan the Almighty