Go-she-wahn blues...

This is a first for me, I think.

Personal aches and pains don't usually make it to the headlines unaltered to the point of being unrecognizably surreal, but, being bored, tired, and slightly discouraged at the Grim Reaper's middle finger, I have decided to vent; well, at least a meaningful hiss if not outright vesuvian fit.

Hmmm...Where to begin...Where to begin. Oh very well then, let's begin at a near facsimile of the beginning.

Not three months ago, sensing the last few hiccups of my illustrious career as English teacher extraordinare at American Englishy Station (located in South Korea), fondly known as The Big AES...pseudonym for the occasionally benign hypertrophy prancing as the insidiously polished veneer of an over-priced EFL institution whose divinely inspired program was actually a cheap rip-off of yet another EFL institution by none other than my current top boss himself (who used to work at the other place earlier in his career), churning up my gullet, I decided to be proactive.

Mindful of the coming ride into the sunset, as it were, and the month and a half notice required by the company for anyone wishing to renew a contract, ask for unpaid vacation, and what have you (forty-five days seems to be some kind of magic number over at The Station), an idea hatched in my naughty little noggin, one that I presented in all it's glory to my manager; who, incidentally, is a lovely person and possibly the only ray of sunshine in the 'managment' of this abomination station. I weighed all my forthcoming plans, time frames, and whims, and came to the conclusion that a one month extension might be appropriate. The manager welcomed the suggestion (I am a bit of a legend, so the opportunity to secure rights to another month of yours truly would not could not should not be passed up). After confirming with all the relevant and irrelevant higher-ups, the suggestion was approved. I was looking forward to another month, such as it was, at the big AES. So where does that take us now? Well, to the end of September, Horacio!

A little over a week ago, the manger comes back to me to relay the unfortunate message that I may only extend if I work at another branch of the company (this was not her idea, and knowing full well of my desire to work only at this branch she relayed this on to deaf ears). I'm sure this sounds innocent and harmless enough to some, but, having settled and become attached somewhat, and well aware of similar episodes, fiascos, and fubar experienced by others in similar nomadic scenarios, I decided to take a stand. Thanks, but no thanks said I. The manager was not surprised, non-plus, and quite understanding. To make a long story a little less long, the end of September has now become the end of August.

What to do?! I have decided to stay another one or two months, just as a harmless tourist, administrative and legal details notwithstanding. One of the really sad parts is that I have to vacate my apartment by late next week. My modest little 7-8 pyeong hovel is deliteful in all the amusing little ways that tickle my fancy. And, after having wandered about north of the river with a couple Korean co-workers for help in hunting 'snipe'(thank you so much for the effort Chico and Gin), I have come to the discouraging conclusion that, given my time frame, a go-she-wahn or hasook might be my only feasible options. For the more inexperienced, these two options are relatively cheap but tiny (an entire room smaller than a queen size bed) and involve sharing toilets, showers, paper thin walls, fungus, odors, stains, annoying and often unidentifiable noises that wake you up at 3 am, etc. etc. They are a sort of relatively cheap dorm of sorts. Yes, I have lived in them before, and no, I don't want to live in them again. Necessity can be a deaf bitch sometimes though. So today, I found a brand spanking new one, even seemingly clean after a few quick suspicious glances thrown about. I put $50 deposit down to hold the room since I am not ready to move in until the weekend, and technically they haven't put the finishing touches on all the construction, yes it's very new.

There may be one potential saviour. My good buddy lives in a one-room in a building managed by an odd little ajuma (middle-aged woman) who lets him stay in an 8 pyeong bachelor pad for decent rent and last month's rent as deposit and no year-long commitment. With any luck she'll have a spare to offer me. My spidey sense isn't tingling any more than usual so I don't really expect anything but hope is a powerful antidote to reality. More on this as it develops.

That's about it. Not really sure what the point was, and I'm not really sure what I have written and I'm too tired for a spell or semantic check. I just wanted to get it out before I deflated for sleep in my sweet queen size BED. Perhaps if I am still tense after washing up and reading another instalment of Charlotte's Web, I will gaze lovingly through my massive windows at the warm and picturesque landscape just beyond, blanketed under the soft cover of the gently star speckled night as I am soothed to sleep by the quiet woosh of the sillowetted cars glowing past.



Posted by Bruce the Fucked.

p.s. Pyeong is a unit measuring area. Oddly enough, it seems to vary somewhat depending on which landlord you talk to. Officially, 1 pyeong = 3.3 square metres. Expect it to be much smaller when you actually see the room.