Warp Factor 3

I am not a coffee drinker...there I have said it!

Well, by golly, last week I did indeed enjoy a lovely cup of hot coffee. I observed with each sip that my senses were becoming acutely focused. As with many discoveries, accidents often lead to benefits for human kind. Penecilin comes to mind. I decided to test some theories perculating in my head.

Today, feeling a bit tired at work I decided to drink a lot of coffee, 3 Starbucks tall lattes if you please. I was expecting my work day to fly by in my heightened state of consciousness. Sadly, I forgot one very important fact...The Theory of Relativity.

As I downed my final cup of gold, sure enough, my senses focused. Alas as my very molecules began to vibrate at very close to the speed of light I experienced the all too critical time dilation. I wasn't aware of it as it was happening (I can be a bit self-involved at times), but towards the end of the day as I slipped out of time warp I realized that I had not aged but everything around me had. Instead of making the day seem to pass faster for me, I infact experienced it much slower. The day was a disaster. I am knackered. I feel like I have experienced two days in one.

I am not a relativistic physicist. If there are any out there please correct me if my interpretation was incorrect. If I am wrong then perhaps this day will still have been recoverable after all....oh if only!

Posted by Lt. Starbuck.